Unapologetically Brilliant: A Reflection Guide
Thank you for being part of this conversation. What we talked about today isn't easy - and that's exactly why it matters.
This reflection guide isn't homework; it's an invitation. You can work through it all at once or come back to it over time. You can write in the margins or just sit with the questions. There's no right way to do this except honestly.
Question 1: What if pleasing others is dulling your shine?
Think about a recent moment when you found yourself performing, proving, or trying to impress. Maybe it was at work. Maybe it was posting on social media. Maybe it was getting dressed this morning.
Where do you most try to please others?
(Examples: At work? In your business? With your family? On social media? In your appearance?)
What are you afraid will happen if you stop?
(Be specific. "They'll think I'm..." or "I'll lose..." or "People will...")
Now the harder question: Where might you be projecting your own insecurity onto someone else?
(Like I did with Eva. Who are you trying to protect or fix because you're afraid THEY aren't enough... when really, you're afraid YOU aren't enough?)
One small step:
What's ONE thing you could stop doing this week that's about performing rather than being genuine? Not a big dramatic gesture. Just one small choice to lay down the need to impress.
Question 2: What if shame dims our brilliance?
Before you can speak about your shame to anyone else, you have to be honest with yourself about what you're carrying.
What letter do you fear everyone sees on you?
(Stupid? Addict? Failure? Fraud? Too much? Not enough? Broken? The actual word matters.)
Where are you keeping this secret?
(Who doesn't know? What are you hiding? How much energy does it take to keep this covered?)
Brené Brown says shame needs three things to survive: secrecy, silence, and judgment.
Which of these three is feeding your shame most right now?
Secrecy - You're hiding something
Silence - You won't talk about it
Judgment - You're condemning yourself for it
One brave step:
Shame loses power when it's spoken. Who is ONE person you trust enough to say the words out loud? You don't have to tell them today. But write their name down. When you're ready, you'll know.
Question 3: What if unapologetic brilliance does not depend on others noticing your light?
We live in a world that teaches us to scorekeep our worth.
How are you currently scorekeeping your brilliance?
(Social media engagement? Income? Promotions? Compliments? Being needed? The number of people who show up?)
What's your number right now?
(Like my LinkedIn impressions dropping from 10,000 to 500. What's the metric you're watching that tells you whether you matter?)
If that number went to zero tomorrow, what would you be afraid it means about you?
(This is the core fear. Write it down.)
Now the truth:
Your brilliance isn't a score. It doesn't depend on anyone noticing. It comes from within.
In the darkness, where there's no light to reflect, where does YOUR light come from?
(This isn't a trick question. The answer might be "I don't know yet" - and that's okay. Sit with it.)
Moving Forward
Being unapologetically brilliant isn't about being spectacular. It's about being genuinely yourself and trusting that's enough, even when no one notices.
Three commitments you might consider:
Stop apologizing for taking up space. Your needs matter. Your voice matters. Your presence matters.
Speak your shame to someone you trust. Not everyone. Just one person. Shame can't survive being named.
Choose one area where you'll stop scorekeeping. Just one. And practice trusting that your worth isn't measured there.
One Last Thing
If shame has driven you to put your crown in a drawer, it's time to take it out, polish it, and put it back on your head where it belongs.
You don't have to do this perfectly. You don't have to do it all at once. You just have to start.
Let's go shine, ladies.
For ongoing support and community, connect with me at lydia@mantlecoaching.com.